Posted by: tljess | April 11, 2014

Healing

What a difference a day can make . . . . after 5 days I see signs of  healing. What a miserable difficult week. After all the tears and raw anger I can see healing.  As they all head home today I feel confident that they will all be “ok” . . . in time. We have had amazing, beautiful sunrises each day this week and it reminds me that even after a really horrible, awful day that the perspective on life can change over night. This is important to remember as we all trudge at times through our journey.

They are healing. They are going to be ok.

Posted by: tljess | April 7, 2014

So This is Life…..

The funeral director said, “our fate is pre-destined” ……. I need to spend time thinking about this ……

Posted by: tljess | April 6, 2014

Life is so Precious

Today was a bad day. Very bad day. News of the passing of a friend never comes easy. 

Suicide. So many conflicting feelings. 

Disappointment. Anger. Sad . . . . so much sad. 

My friend has left his wife to clean up his bad judgment . . . . his selfishness. . . . his wife is my first friend.  My lifetime friend. My heart is breaking for her. 

I will be with her in the morning. To just sit with her. To hold her hand. 

Posted by: tljess | April 3, 2014

Right Here, Right Now

This is one of my favorite VanHalen tunes ….. I can hear Sammy singin as I type😎

The significance of this today is what can I control? Right here, right now.

I enlisted the help of a very special person in my life to help with letter/resume writing …. She is an amazing strong woman and is an awesome coach.just working with her for a few days has renewed my energy and determination. I love the saying, “No is never the final answer”…. It speaks to my persistence.

Some how over the last 2 years I have done a lot of negative self talk….not deserving…. Not enough value…. Or experience etc.

I worked hard for 20 years in my former career…..I also worked hard at being an involved mom. I sacrificed some career gains a long the way so I would have limited travel days. I lack formal managerial experience ….. which is impacting my job search. My mentor is coaching me through that now.

I am determined that my next career will be more fulfilling and I can make a difference because the life we are given is far too short. It’s easy to think we are doing the right thing … worry about consequences later….. I am at the later now but I would not trade my mom time investment….. I keep circling back to not receiving help ….. It was difficult to ask for it and the person that could help was unwilling… that became crystal clear during the divorce. I was the working partner in our marriage. We agreed he would stay home. We should have come up with an evaluation process over the years…..he was determined to stay home and I needed help. Going to take some time to get over that I guess.

What I have is right here, right now and I am doing my best to control my controllables😊

Posted by: tljess | March 28, 2014

Be Thankful

I am learning  to start each day to be mindful of what I have to be thankful for and not to take each day for granted. Each day I try to make a conscious deliberate moment and focus on the day ahead, my important people and the life I am creating.

Today: My dad, who is going through radiation for prostate cancer that has redeveloped. He is strong. He is determined.

My children: they are learning the value of holding a job, making their own money and their health.

Me: I have managed to keep my finances sound . . . living on very little. . . feeling nervous at the end of every month when I have to pay BIG bills, but feeling thankful and grateful that I manage to pull it off every month.

Yes, I am thankful for my “new normal”. Yes. I am ready to expand that new normal and build on to what I have created this far. Learning how to put this in motion is what I find is such a struggle . . . . Today, I am thankful for the struggle.

Posted by: tljess | March 27, 2014

A Favorite Quote

“You may not trust the one you love, but you will always love the one you trust”  Unknown

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